Sunday, 25 January 2015

Between Us... Frustrated

I read your reply to the lady who had relationship issues with her mother-in-law. The problem is that my wife has decided that my mother is her enemy. In fairness, my mother has done everything to draw her closer, but she resists all gestures of friendship. My brothers’ wives have very cordial relationships with my mum, to the extent that the older one’s wife always prefers to travel with my mum than with my brother! The tension that has been created is making it difficult for me at home. My mother has so many younger people as friends, that I cannot understand why my wife is being so difficult. What do I do? This can really spoil this marriage.

Explore more and think outside the box:
Hmmm… you know this has been a nightmare of mine- that I would give advice and someone would hang on to it despite the context of the situation being vastly different. The whole ‘mother-in-law’ role has been tainted with negativity since the dawn of time, but there are far more loving endearing women who become the most amazing supportive mothers-in-law than the proverbial ‘mother-in-war’. It is apparent that if the other ‘wives’ get on with your mother, then your wife needs to be helped to understand what the problem is. Since you have explored the more obvious reasons, there may be an advantage in exploring more ‘outside-the-box’ thinking and creating opportunities for your children to build a healthy loving relationship with their grandmother through their homework and other sporting activities. Perhaps your children can join their cousins on all those trips to grandmother’s house? Join her in her cooking sessions? Even if your wife doesn’t come round, your children need not be deprived of their grandmother’s love and attention. Strong families build strong societies and strengthening family ties are critical to ensuring we build a better nation.

God bless

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