Honestly I really feel like I can call you ‘Aunty’ because I’m convinced that you care about the people whose concerns and issues you address. I have a rather common problem but I still will appreciate your advice. I am ready to settle down and I was in a relationship that I was sure would lead to marriage, but I have been rudely awakened to the untrustworthiness of women! This lady had given me all the rubbish talk about wanting to wait till the wedding night and I foolishly believed her desire to remain pure. There were some suspicious calls and texts to her phone which I was unfortunate to come across because she asked me to pick a call for her and take a message. The calls came from a guy who she used to see, but had told me was meaningless at the time. But when I saw the text it was obvious there was some intimacy between them – he knew things about her body I was yet to find out! I was so upset, I quietly dumped her and stopped seeing her or taking her calls. Now her mother wants to see me… what do you think I should do?
Oh dear… this is a tough one. Trust is absolutely essential to any relationship if it is to lead to marriage and particularly, a marriage that lasts. I hesitate to pass judgement on the lady in question, because you evidently did not give her a fair hearing. However, if the relationship was of the nature that her mother knew about it, then in our traditional culture, you absolutely must go and see her, the problem will be if she asks you why you have dumped her daughter. You simply have to come to a decision before you go there. What exactly attracted you to her? What are her sterling qualities that made you decide she was going to be your lifelong mate? Evaluate her good points and then really examine what it is that has upset you. If she asked you to pick up her call, she could not have had anything to hide… maybe you need to give her a fair hearing. After all, can you honestly say you have done nothing wrong? I hope this helps?