Between Us: Am I Being Taken For Granted?

"I am a 27-year-old lady and I am presently in a single committed relationship with a guy who has asked me to marry him and he is even prepared to wait for the wedding night. In fact, that was my signal that he was THE ONE, because I had asked the Lord for a real man who was committed to the word of God. I know it all sounds so wonderful and please oh, I am grateful to God, that’s why I dare not mention this to my mom. But there is one problem that keeps bothering me and I am not really sure whether I should mention it and if so, who I should mention it to. I have always tried not to be like the regular Lagos Bigz Gelz who are always demanding that the men they date should pay large sums of money for their weaves, phones, shoes, etc. My problem now is that my fiancé does not even seem to think it is necessary to take me on a date or to the cinema… he is always complaining about how he doesn’t have money because his business is just starting. I don’t think I am being difficult in expecting him to court me a little? Or am I?"

Fiancée, Lagos

Oh dear! Are you related to the University Don? Sounds like the same situation in another colour. No, you are not being difficult. He does need to court you a little and a lot! You are a gem of inestimable price and he must let you know constantly and consistently how much you mean to him. It is not the money because having spoken to you, you sound like a very well-brought up and financially savvy young lady. There are many things he can do to court your attention and love. And not all of them require huge sums of money. In fact the truth is, what he needs to demonstrate is that he has taken the trouble to get to know the real you and find out the things that make you tick… the stars that shine, the beautiful places to see the sunset, the magic of cooking for you, the plays, book-readings, poetry… and often the these things cost more effort and time than money. But they show how much he values you. If he is smart, he is reading this right now, because you have placed the magazine strategically where he can see it….

My guy! Get on with the programme, do not ‘carry last’!